" Don’t fucking tell me emotional pain doesn’t hurt you physically. I feel it in my eyes, raw and swollen, from endless nights of crying. I feel it in my chest, a throbbing pain that makes it hurt to breathe. I feel it in my legs, weak with sadness, barely holding my weight. I feel it in my stomach, hunger pains from not eating for three days because I am disgusted. I feel it in my muscles, so sore it hurts to move. I feel it in my head, sharp pains stabbing my temples. I feel it in my fucking bones, aching to be broken, because feeling actual pain will allow me to feel something. I wouldn’t be numb, I know how to fix that kind of pain. I can even feel it in my hands, shaking and shivering in sync with the rest of my body. So don’t you dare fucking tell me my pain isn’t valid because it’s “just an emotion.” Fuck you. "
" I know I’m recovering, but there are still times my skin itches to be ripped apart. There are times I think about killing myself. I mean, I wouldn’t put a bullet through my brain, I guess it’s just because I want a break, an escape. I want to get away from the war inside my head, and sometimes I feel like I won’t unless I’m dead. "
" Have you ever just lied down in bed? Feeling really sad. And it’s that point where you have stopped crying, but only because there are no tears left. You just lay there, miserable. And all you know is that there’s this misery filling up inside you. "
And sometimes it hits me out of nowhere. All of a sudden this overwhelming sadness rushes over me. And I get discouraged and I get upset and I feel hopeless, sad and hurt. And once again, I feel numb to the world.